Hi My Love things here the same as usual nothing seems to change really, get up go to work come home do the same again tomorrow. I am a bit down at the moment, nothing new there then I hear you say. I just wonder sometimes what the hell am I doing here? just plodding on waiting to be with you. Thats how it feels. I feel like there is no purpose to my life anymore, I know I am needed here for now because of Loren but there's nothing just for me I feel my life is passing by and I am doing nothing with it and that is wrong somehow, but Kevin I dont know what to do because I dont want a new life I still want my old one.I want things to be different but I dont, I know you know what I mean, its hard for me to put into words. I know I have to try and make things different but what is the point without you ? I miss you so much I am just miserable nearly all of the time and I didnt used to be like this but I have changed so much and I dont know how to change back again, I think its impossible for me to do that. I love you and I miss you and, I need you to help me. All my love for always my love. your wife Tracey xx