Oh Kevin my love I am so sad at the moment I was looking at my diary for last year and it just breaks my heart to read and remember everything its so hard to think it will be a year in 2 weeks I still miss you so much and I just love you its like an ache thats with me all the time I just want to see you again spend time with you my love. I am sat here crying again I cry on my own now love people dont want to see someone miserable so I try to look happy but inside Kevin its so different I am so unhappy. I do try to look forward but I dont see anything in front of me its all so empty there is nothing there. I wish I could say you would want me to get on with my life but I honestly dont know and that is hard I just wish you would have talked to me more about things but you didnt so now I am having to guess things and sometimes I get angry about that because I dont know if I am doing the right thing not that I am doing much of anything I go to work come home take the dogs out and thats about it I sometimes go out but its not the same without you here and that is taking some getting used to even now after nearly a year I am still not used to it. I love and miss you so much my love and I am sorry to go on at you about how down I am but I know you will understand I need a little bit of help from you right now my love. I miss you Kevin and I love you so very much your wife Tracey xxx