Hi My Love well for me christmas is now over I took the tree down yesterday and the few trimmings you know what I am like I like things away once its over I cant stand the clutter you were the same. I started putting things away today and sorting out your wardrobe trying to make space for things I started reading the things I had writen when you were ill it made me so sad all that you went through Kevin so much pain I just sat and cried again. I am thinking about that a lot at the moment I have been for the last few days all the pain and suffering you didnt have many good days reading back on things makes me sad and angry why didnt they get your pain under control sooner why couldnt we have had more good days than bad so many why's. I wish I could see you and talk to you I miss you so much I watched the video's I have of you yesterday there's not a lot and the quality is bad but I could see you again and hear your voice because sometimes Kevin I forget what you sound like and I forget your walk and things like that and I dont want to forget those things they are a part of who you are My Kevin the man I love and miss so much.I am so sad at the moment Kevin and I still cant imagine my life without you in it. I love you My Kevin and I know I always will xxx